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I have this theory that you come of age the moment you start eating broccoli on purpose. What is it about these insignificant moments that make them feel like landmarks? So you look for an older adult, someone successfully adulting… an adultier adult. And every time it happens, it creates one hell of a case of cognitive dissonance.
If not now, when? Is it any wonder that the simple domestic tasks of yore feel increasingly difficult, or that finding the time and energy for them is a growing challenge? Cooking, budgeting, changing a tire? Or is there more to being a grownup than simply aging out of your teens and knowing where the fuse box is?
Now that we live in an aging society , where the average global lifespan is 79, we have more time to put off the previously established milestones of growing up, like marriage, home ownership, and parenthood. Many people in their twenties and thirties today live in what older generations might consider a state of permanent adolescence. But there are other reasons to delay these goals beyond simply arrested development. The cost of living is at an all-time high, and having savings is something that only the most privileged can afford, forcing us to carve out our own, newer ideas about what it means to be mature and successful.
Still, the old markers of adulthood persist in the cultural consciousness—leading many of us to feel immature even with plenty of evidence to the contrary. Maybe we need to be similarly flexible in our definitions of what it means to grow up.
What leads one person to greater self-knowledge and self-actualization, be that through work, marriage, or starting a family, may leave another feeling entirely unfulfilled. The traditional rites of passage our parents and grandparents went through may still hold an appeal for many, but heteronormative domestic bliss, with all of its inherent responsibilities, is not the only way to mature. As a child I always thought my parents had the answers to everything, that they were reading from a handbook passed down through generations of wise adults.