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London isn't topping any lists for Europe's sexiest city — I blame our flabby sun-starved skin, courtesy of the climate, too much Greggs, and an aversion to exercise cemented during cross country running at school.
But that doesn't mean we don't like a bit of debauchery, whether it's a "Knicker Free Friday" or rolling round in oil on a plastic sheet. So here's a possibly exhausting, but by no means exhaustive look at where to rev your libido in London. The Paradise Spa in Dagenham has been described as "more akin to an Essex knees-up than an orgy.
She says, "Rio's is a bit of a dive. It has no state-of-the-art equipment, no Philippe Starck-designed interior or, in fact, any design at all except for a tropical theme that would be sadly dated were it not so unintentionally ironic.
But it's functional. And it delivers what I want: sex on tap. Keith, who's straight, went there by mistake. He says, "the bloke on the door said, 'you know what this place is? Scott, who's gay, has been there, "loads. Saunas are perfect for them, as it's so easy to clean up after. That's simple with the N9 night service bus from Heathrow Terminal 5. Kunal started going to AbFabParties three years ago, when a counsellor recommended it.